Lost in transition……………………

While the citizens of the world are thinking on important issues like refugees, climate changes, falling economy, the minuscule me wants to take sometime and think of the journey of a person, more so of a woman. (Me being a woman am obviously going to look at a womans journey 🙂 ). Firstly I have a strange question to ask – Why is it that when a daughter is born, we immediately associate her to wealth or lack of it and like wise when a son is born why do we associate him to being the torchbearer of our legacy or family?? Why cant we rejoice the birth of a new life and pledge to take care of it under all circumstance instead of already setting the stage for building pressure of different kinds as life slowly progresses.

As a daughter you are the apple of your fathers eyes and the darling of your mother, they will take utmost care to inculcate good values and give you good education. Money will be saved by crushing their small desires to fulfill a daughters wish and as you grow a daughters best friends are her parents. A daughter may have many talents and potential to fare well in life, she will have her set of best friends, her likes, dislikes, her own individual thought process. And then marriage happens; all of a sudden that daughter is a daughter no more, she becomes a daughter-in-law and a wife overnight. Men will now start expecting that their wife should eat, wear, think the way they do; all of a sudden the individuality of the daughter is gone with the winds. The wife may be sick but will still keep a smiling face, and no one will ever know she wasnt well, yet when she calls home to talk to her parents, they know just by hearing the voice that their daughter is sick, and the irony of it all is that as a wife and as a daughter-in – law you have to seek permission to meet your own parents or call them to your new house. And then baby happens, which is ofcourse is a beautiful moment. The pride of being a mother, the joys of doing little things for your little one will engulf you so much you wont realise when you ceased to be the woman you were brought up to be. Slowly your life will revolve around the husband and kids so much so that you will cease to be the daughter you once were. And the best of it is when your child will one day ask you ‘Mother whats your favourite colour?’; most likely you will ponder for sometime and reply back ‘My favourite colour is the same as yours’, and if you think its out of love then you are mistaken, for you havent realised it but long back while giving yourself completely to your husband and kids you actually forgot what you loved, what were your likes and dislikes, and importantly who you actually were!!!! And by the time you reach the end of the journey you started, you see that the wrinkles are all you are left with – wrinkles that time gave you, wrinkles that relations gave you, wrinkles that emotions and bonds gave you and yet you will be happy at the end of it all for atleast you did your job well, you built a beautiful family… while you yourself were lost is transition!!

And yet again I end my prate with a famous quote by Tagore ‘ She (Kadambari) proved through her death, that she was living’.

As a passing thought let me mention, I write this post, post reading a very touching novel, so dont you dare think that I am anywhere near to being lost in transition for I am blessed with great sets of parents and in-laws and a lovable child and ofcourse why forget the equally lovable husband 😉


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Filed under Observations of an idle mind

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